The characters in Northhanger Abbey being aloof?

James and Isabelle, Catherine and John

The characters in Northhanger Abbey seem to be unaware of each other's feelings. I don't think this is because they are trying to deny the reality of what is going on, but that they are in a way unaware of the deeper feelings between each other. For example when Catherine likes John he has no clue how she feels about him. He wouldn't know how she felt unless she told him, then his perception of her and his interaction with her might change. I had this happen to me recently. I have liked this guy for 2 years now and I have been patiently waiting for him. The other day we hung out and then the next time I saw him I told him how I felt and he said that he liked me as well, but that he didn't know for sure if I did indeed like him. This could be the same thing for the characters. They might sense an intimate connection, but they don't want to get hurt so in order to protect their inner feelings they try to avoid the reality of the situation until they know for sure that both parties feel the same way.